Tag Archives: swede fest

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Many thanks to Gainsville’s Mr. Tom Petty for the lyric we stole to make that kinda trite headline.

2014 swede "Mementos"

A still from Jacek Gancarz's swede "Mementos", NOT starring Guy Pearce, Carrie-Anne Moss, and Joe Pantoliano

So, the swedes are in. Lots o’ swedes. Lots of good, lots of bad, lots in between. We’re doing our jobs going through all of the footage; have you done yours?

Because your only job, at this point, is to buy your tickets. Oh, and VIP tickets are all sold out. None left. Nada. Nein. Non. Just General Admission advance tickets for $8 bucks. And we highly recommend you buy them online and in advance. IF (and that’s a big if, people) we have any left the night of the show, they will be $9, cash only.

And do you really want to get all snazzied up, drive to Palm Beach Gardens, stand in line with your crumpled Abe and four Washingtons, only to find out YOU CAN’T COME IN?? The walk of shame back to your car will be sort of embarrassing.

You’ll be missing out on the potent bevvies from Potions in Motion, music by DJ Sean Hennessey, the big screen in the lobby looping the swedes that didn’t make the finals, and our fab step-and-repeat with photographer John Sessa, who will capture you in all your cinematic drag..

We still need some volunteers, for you intrepid souls who like to be helpful, get in free, and hang out with the cool folks who organize this madness. Email Belle Forino at bforino@ramrealestate.com if you’re feeling all interested.

Details, details…

swede fest™palm beach 3

  • Saturday, August 2, 2014
  • The Borland Center for Performing Arts on Mainstreet at Midtown, 4801 PGA Boulevard
  • Doors open at 5:30 PM so you can pick up your WILL CALL tickets and enjoy the lobby ambiance
  • VIP ticket holders enter the theater at 6:25 PM
  • GA ticket holders enter the theater at 6:40 PM
  • Festival starts at 7:00 PM
  • Theater doors close at 7:05 PM
  • Once you enter the theater, you will pick up a program, voting card, and pencil, then find your seat. Due to the sell-out crowd, please do not leave gaps in the rows. We’ll ask you to scoot over as the theater fills up, and all the heavy sighing is unnecessary. We’re one big sweding family.

As always, swede fest™palm beach 3 is brought to you by Mainstreet at Midtown, because they’re just cool that way.

 

 

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It’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the thrill of the fight…

It’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the thrill of the fight…
Rocky 3 sweded

The swede of "Rocky III". In case that's not obvious.

Do you hate us now that we’ve earwormed you with that fabulous song by Survivor? Because it immediately sprang into the collective consciousness here at swede fest™ palm beach 3 HQ, and it’s not pretty. But it was inevitable when we watched the Rocky III submission that just arrived. And for your viewing pleasure, we include a still from the swede, and one of the original promotional posters. Heh.

Tickets. They’re selling. Get yours soon, people. We give one free to every filmmaker who submits, you know that everyone related to that sweder and all his/her friends then buys a ticket, so where does that leave you? Possibly waiting in line the night of the event with a handful of crumpled dollar bills hoping for the best? We sold out the

Rocky III, for reals

last two years, and there’s no reason to think this year will be any different. Do you really want to be in your car, checking Facebook or Twitter to see the updates on whether there are any tickets left (this being done by your responsible passenger, of course, and not you), only to turn around and go home? Bummer of a Saturday night.

And to those of you who may be thinking it’s too late to swede: nope. Not so. You still have 13 days (provided you start today) to call dibs and roll film.  You’re only producing 3 minutes (or less) of PG-13 comedy goodness (even if your source material is so very not). The deadline to get your swede to us is 11:59 PM on Wednesday, July 9th. Rules? Read ‘em here.

Event Details — because we’re oh so thorough (and maybe a tad OCD about these things)..

swede fest™palm beach 3
Saturday, August 2, 2014
The Borland Center for Performing Arts
on Mainstreet at Midtown
4801 PGA Boulevard
Doors open at 6:00 PM
Festival starts at 7:00 PM

  • General Admissions tickets are $8 in advance
  • VIP tickets are $11 in advance and include spiffy limited-edition laminate and lanyard, plus reserved seating in the front rows and early entrance to your comfy seat

We’ll leave you with a final thought:

So many times it happens too fast
You trade your passion for glory
Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past
You must fight just to keep them alive…

Sorry. Really.

 

 

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Tickets for swede fest™palm beach 3 ON SALE JUNE 11!

Tickets for swede fest™palm beach 3 ON SALE JUNE 11!

The 45 films submitted to date promise to make this year’s event the greatest festival of all time in Palm Beach County!*

* (out of all other Palm Beach County festivals celebrating bad movies by good people)

Festival planners at Mainstreet at Midtown promise that this year’s swede fest™ palm beach 3 will be the biggest, baddest, and worst (in the best way) film festival in its long, nearly two-year history. Based upon the films submitted so far, they are proving themselves correct, with 45 three-minute spoofs of Hollywood hits reserved so far for the cult-favorite evening scheduled for Saturday, August 2, 2014 at the Borland Center for Performing Arts.

The all-ages film festival has been a sold-out, blockbuster hit each year, and Mainstreet at Midtown is promising to be sold out even more for this year’s “three-quel.” That in mind, tickets will go on sale June 11 on this very website, with advance purchase tickets for $8 and VIP seats for $11. VIP tickets include a nifty lanyard, along with reserved seating in the theater’s front rows. Doors open at 6:00 p.m. with food and drink available for purchase and music provided by Double-Shot Entertainment. Showtime starts at 7:00 p.m. and audiences vote for their favorite “bad” movie. The winner of swede fest™ palm beach 3 will receive a year’s subscription to Adobe Premiere Pro CC film editing software (a $250 value). Following the awards, everyone is invited to Cantina Laredo for the swede fest after party.

Emcees for the evening will be the Palm Beach Shakespeare Festival’s comedic performers Wally Lurz, Darryl Willis, Krys Parker, Trent Stephens, and Zach Myers, who are crafting their own “fun with film” for the entertainment of the audience.

But what is a “swede?” the uninitiated ask. Based on the movie Be Kind, Rewind, a “swede” is a no-budget, laughably bad remake of a Hollywood film which spawned an underground sweding craze and resulted in the first swede fest™ in Fresno, Calif. Next came swede fest™ Tampa Bay, then swede fest™ palm beach in 2012. Those interested in swedeing a film are encouraged to use “found items” as props and their own imaginations.

All sweded films must be PG-13, even if the source material is not (like The Wolf of Wall Street, one film already reserved this year). Other films in this year’s Festival are: Spiderman, The Goonies, Aquamarine, Argo, Casablanca, Castaway, Catching Fire, Chariots of Fire, Dark Knight Rises, Desperado, Robocop, Fast 5, Frozen, Gravity, Jaws The REAL Ending, John Tucker Must Die, Jumper, Jurassic Park, Mean Girls, Mementos, Next Friday, Noah, Parent Trap, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Pee-wee’s Big Adventure, Project X, Pulp Fiction, Raising Arizona, Rocky 3, Soul Plane, Specific Rim (a parody of Pacific Rim), The Avengers, The Big Lebowski, The Matrix, The Princess Bride, The Ring Sweded, The Wizard of OZ, To Have & Have Not, Toy Story, Tremors, Twilight, Up, War of the Worlds, White Chicks, and X-Men.

Those who want to take part in the coolest film festival in existence are encouraged to claim their film title now. All films are due by 11:59PM on July 9. “Sweders” receive one free ticket per movie submitted and are encouraged to dress “Hollywood bizarre” when attending the event. Because why not, right?

Swede fest™ palm beach 3, sponsored by Emergency Care Services at JFK Medical Center, rolls out the red carpet on Saturday, August 2, 2014 at the Borland Center of Performing Arts at Midtown in Palm Beach Gardens at 7:00 p.m. Tickets are $8 in advance, $9 at the door, and $11 VIP with Limited Edition Lanyard and VIP seating. Sponsorships and volunteer positions are now available for this must-see event. For advance tickets, sponsorship opportunities, rules and regulations on submitting a film, or more information about the festival, take a look around on this website — it’s all here!

For general information, or to get in on the groovy sponsorship opportunities, call Mainstreet at Midtown’s Marketing Manager, Belle Forino 561.282.4623 or email bforino@ramrealestate.com

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Because Five Is Not Enough…

Because Five Is Not Enough…

“Five what,” you ask? Why, five Spiderman movies, of course! Some intrepid sweder has decided the canon cannot live without a sixth cinematic commitment to the story of Peter Parker. And so we have an updates of swedes you can’t swede at swede fest™ palm beach 3

  • Spiderman
  • The Goonies
  • Aquamarine

Plus:

  • Argo
  • Casablanca
  • Castaway
  • Catching Fire
  • Chariots of Fire
  • Dark Knight Rises
  • Desperado, Robocop Sweded
  • Fast 5
  • Frozen
  • Gravity
  • Jaws The REAL Ending
  • John Tucker Must Die
  • Jumper
  • Jurassic Park
  • Mean Girls
  • Mementos
  • Next Friday
  • Noah
  • Parent Trap
  • Paul Blart: Mall Cop
  • Pee-wee’s Big Adventure
  • Project X
  • Pulp Fiction
  • Raising Arizona
  • Rocky 3
  • Soul Plane
  • Specific Rim (a parody of Pacific Rim)
  • The Avengers
  • The Big Lebowski
  • The Matrix
  • The Princess Bride
  • The Ring Sweded
  • The Wizard of OZ
  • The Wolf Of Wall Street
  • To Have & Have Not
  • Toy Story
  • Tremors
  • Twilight
  • Up
  • War of the Worlds
  • White Chicks
  • X-Men

And so, you may think, that is a lot o’ swede-y goodness so early in the game, what with swede fest™ palm beach 3 scheduled for a far-off Saturday in August. But the deadline for submissions isn’t all that far away — in fact, it’s less that two months, a measly seven weeks, i.e. Wednesday, July 9th at 11:59 pm. Frankly, it’s all cake after that: planning your sweet outfit, making your grand entrance, planning your acceptance speech. It’s these next seven weeks that require you to heft the camera, harass your friends into playing non-lead roles (lead roles=volunteers), securing your location, creatively acquiring props, and editing your brilliance down into three PG-13 appropriate minutes.

So, call dibs if you haven’t already by emailing info@swedefestpalmbeach.com (following the fairly simple rules, of course) with your name (first AND last), the title of your film, your age, and your email address. Easy peasy.

We’ll see you at The Borland Center for Performing Arts when the doors open at 6:00 pm on Saturday, August 2, 2014. The festivities begin at 7:00. We’ll let you know as soon as tickets go on sale (and hey, you get one for free just for submitting a swede).

swede fest™ palm beach 3 is brought to you by Mainstreet at Midtown, ‘cuz they’re cool like that.

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‘You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. If you will not swede, then you will not meet your destiny.’

‘You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. If you will not swede, then you will not meet your destiny.’

Heh. Nice twist on some Darth Vader dialogue, no? For those of you who are not raging Star Wars geeks, that line was from The Empire Strikes Back.

Speaking of back (how’s that for a clunky transition?), the #1 film festival that refuses to take itself seriously returns to Mainstreet at Midtown during swede fest™palm beach 3, at the Borland Center for Performing Arts. The all-ages cult film festival has been a sold-out, blockbuster hit for the past two years, and it is promising to sell out even sooner for this year’s “three-quel.”

Desperado-1995

Yummy Antonio Banderas goodness...which you NOT see in the Desperado swede.

Emcees for the evening will be the Palm Beach Shakespeare Festival’s comedic performers Wally Lurz, Darryl Willis, Trent Stephens, and Zach Meyers, who are crafting their own “fun with film” for the entertainment of the audience on Saturday, August 2 (doors open at 6:00 pm, showtime beginning at 7:00 pm).

But what is a “swede?” Based on the movie Be Kind, Rewind, a swede is a no-budget, laughably bad remake of a Hollywood film. This kinda mediocre Jack Black/Mos Def comedy had an unintended side effect: it spawned an underground sweding craze and resulted in the first swede fest™ in Fresno, Calif. Next came swede fest™ tampa bay, then the first swede fest™ palm beach in 2012. Those interested in swedeing a film are encouraged to make extensive use of their imaginations, and “found items” as props. Visualize Star Wars made with whatever you can find in your garage…yes, that bad. Never fear though, films can only be 3 minutes long and must be rated PG — even Pulp Fiction, which is on the list already selected for this year’s Festival. Other movie titles already nabbed by would-be filmmakers are:

  • Casablanca
  • Castaway
  • Catching Fire
  • Dark Knight Rises
  • Desperado
  • Gravity
  • John Tucker Must Die
  • Jurassic Park
  • Mean Girls
  • Mementos
  • Noah
  • Parent Trap
  • Paul Blart: Mall Cop
  • Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure
  • Project X
  • Pulp Fiction
  • Raising Arizona
  • Robocop
  • Rocky 3
  • Specific Rim (a parody of Pacific Rim)
  • The Ring
  • The Wolf Of Wall Street
  • To Have & Have Not
  • Toy Story
  • Tremors
  • Twilight
  • Up
  • War of the Worlds
  • White Chicks

Only one swede per film title. Those with Oscar dreams should take a pass on this festival entirely; but those who want to take part in the coolest film festival in existence anywhere are encouraged to claim their film title now, or be stuck sweding something like August: Osage County, which would be sad since no one in the audience will likely appreciate your efforts, not having seen the original.

All film submissions are due by July 9. “Sweders” receive one free ticket per movie submitted — this ain’t Entourage where your posse gets in for free because you’re famous — and are encouraged to dress “Hollywood bizarre.” Wow, is that a wide-open door for, um, creative haberdashery.

Tickets are going to be $8, or you can pop for a $20 VIP ticket with Limited-Edition Lanyard and V.I.P. Seating. We’ll let you know as soon as tickets go on sale right here, on Facebook and Twitter.

Want to make like Coke and pop for product placement (i.e. sponsorship)? Call Mainstreet at Midtown’s Marketing Manager, Belle Forino at 561.282.4623 or email bforino@ramrealestate.com.

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Dude, Where’s Your Swede?

Dude, Where’s Your Swede?

First, you realize we can pretty much take any movie title and pun it into submission, sort of a meta-swede thingy we do to come up with the occasionally catchy headline.

And, second, you then realize we can be as un-funny as some of the movies we’re making fun of. Even more meta!

"We figured there was too much happiness here for just the two of us, so we figured the next logical step was to have us a critter."

So. Anyway.

This is the updated list of reserved films you CANNOT swede:

  • Casablanca
  • Castaway
  • Catching Fire
  • Desperado, Robocop Sweded
  • Gravity
  • John Tucker Must Die
  • Mean Girls
  • Memento
  • Parent Trap
  • Project X
  • Pulp Fiction
  • Raising Arizona
  • Rocky 3
  • Specific Rim (a parody of Pacific Rim)
  • The Wolf of Wall Street
  • To Have and Have Not
  • Toy Story
  • Tremors
  • Twilight
  • Up
  • War of the Worlds
  • White Chicks

We will be posting information shortly on how to upload your films for us. But — sneak preview — our preferred format for delivery is a Quicktime file (.mov), which is also known as an H.264 for people who may be exporting their footage from an editing program. Other options are .mp4 or perhaps .wmv.

Now, before you get your knickers in a twist, other formats will be accepted, too. We just find they are tricksy to upload, leaving us scrambling at the very end to get your swede. Don’t freak out…it’s not like we’re big techno geeks either.

We want you to focus on having a gas making your swede and submitting some funny movies so we can laugh at each other that night.  Heh. We said “gas.”

And hey — if any of your pals are considering making a swede…excellent. Just be sure to tell them they need to call dibs ASAP.

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