Heh. Nice twist on some Darth Vader dialogue, no? For those of you who are not raging Star Wars geeks, that line was from The Empire Strikes Back.
Speaking of back (how’s that for a clunky transition?), the #1 film festival that refuses to take itself seriously returns to Mainstreet at Midtown during swede fest™palm beach 3, at the Borland Center for Performing Arts. The all-ages cult film festival has been a sold-out, blockbuster hit for the past two years, and it is promising to sell out even sooner for this year’s “three-quel.”
Yummy Antonio Banderas goodness...which you NOT see in the Desperado swede.
Emcees for the evening will be the Palm Beach Shakespeare Festival’s comedic performers Wally Lurz, Darryl Willis, Trent Stephens, and Zach Meyers, who are crafting their own “fun with film” for the entertainment of the audience on Saturday, August 2 (doors open at 6:00 pm, showtime beginning at 7:00 pm).
But what is a “swede?” Based on the movie Be Kind, Rewind, a swede is a no-budget, laughably bad remake of a Hollywood film. This kinda mediocre Jack Black/Mos Def comedy had an unintended side effect: it spawned an underground sweding craze and resulted in the first swede fest™ in Fresno, Calif. Next came swede fest™ tampa bay, then the first swede fest™ palm beach in 2012. Those interested in swedeing a film are encouraged to make extensive use of their imaginations, and “found items” as props. Visualize Star Wars made with whatever you can find in your garage…yes, that bad. Never fear though, films can only be 3 minutes long and must be rated PG — even Pulp Fiction, which is on the list already selected for this year’s Festival. Other movie titles already nabbed by would-be filmmakers are:
Dark Knight Rises
John Tucker Must Die
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure
Specific Rim (a parody of Pacific Rim)
The Wolf Of Wall Street
To Have & Have Not
War of the Worlds
Only one swede per film title. Those with Oscar dreams should take a pass on this festival entirely; but those who want to take part in the coolest film festival in existence anywhere are encouraged to claim their film title now, or be stuck sweding something like August: Osage County, which would be sad since no one in the audience will likely appreciate your efforts, not having seen the original.
All film submissions are due by July 9. “Sweders” receive one free ticket per movie submitted — this ain’t Entourage where your posse gets in for free because you’re famous — and are encouraged to dress “Hollywood bizarre.” Wow, is that a wide-open door for, um, creative haberdashery.
Tickets are going to be $8, or you can pop for a $20 VIP ticket with Limited-Edition Lanyard and V.I.P. Seating. We’ll let you know as soon as tickets go on sale right here, on Facebook and Twitter.
Want to make like Coke and pop for product placement (i.e. sponsorship)? Call Mainstreet at Midtown’s Marketing Manager, Belle Forino at 561.282.4623 or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Hey there. It’s time to start thinking about the third annual swede fest, boasting the ever-so-original name of SWEDE FEST™ PALM BEACH 3. Feeling all Fellini? Submit an entry until 11:59 PM on Wednesday, July 9, 2014. Not so much? Then come watch the swedes at 7:00 PM on Saturday, August 2, 2014 at The Borland Center for Performing Arts, located on Mainstreet at Midtown in Palm Beach Gardens. The lobby doors open at 6:00 PM.
But wait, you cry! What are the rules? The fees? Who’s in charge? Why is this happening?
We’ll start at the beginning.
We want YOU!
THE HISTORY OF THE SWEDE
First, there was a little cinematic gem called Be Kind, Rewind. It starred Jack Black and Mos Def. It was kinda ho-hum, but it contained the seeds that would grow into a cult phenomenon. Yes, this film is responsible for the existence of the swede (n. laughably bad remake of a Hollywood film, so named because it sounds European and nouvelle vague). It is therefore like a grandparent to the swede fest.
SO, YOU WANNA SWEDE A FILM?
Lest you think SWEDE FEST™ PALM BEACH 3 is nothing more than an amateur free-for-all, we have RULES and SUBMISSION GUIDELINES. Email us ASAP to reserve your film, because we only want one of everything. Once you call dibs on your movie, start calling in favors, because you’ll need a cast and a location — even if that turns out to be you, your BF, and your dog in the backyard. A little planning never hurt.
Keep your swede under 3 minutes. Embrace its amateur nature. The bigger the original film’s budget, plus the less you spend on your swede, equals comedy gold. Make it the equivalent of PG-13, even if you’re sweding Pulp Fiction. Work creatively around cussing, nekkidness, and other grown-up stuff since SWEDE FEST™ PALM BEACH 3 is open to all ages.
It’s free to enter a film in SWEDE FEST™ PALM BEACH 3. Tickets to the festival are $8 online – we’ll let you know as soon as they go on sale here.
If you enter a film, you receive one free ticket. Tempting, no?
Plus, the audience votes for its favorite swede in both under- and over-18 categories and we award prizes. And because this is such a spectacularly popular event, we’re showcasing 24 swedes in the theatre the night of the festival; the remaining swedes will play in the lobby.
Follow SWEDE FEST™PALM BEACH 3 on Twitter (#swedefestpb) or “like” us on Facebook…
YOU KNOW, THIS EVENT REALLY NAILS THE COOLNESS FACTOR. HOW DO I SPONSOR?
SWEDE FEST™ PALM BEACH 3 is the only film festival of its kind in Southeast Florida. This year, we’re happy to announce that we’re allowing sponsor participation for the first time. The festival receives enormous audience participation, has a substantial viral following on social media, and will provide its sponsors major visibility in front of 500 amateur filmmakers, their families, and friends on the night of the festival. Sponsorship levels range from $250 to $1,000. For more information, email email@example.com.
It’s THAT time again! The Call for Entries is officially open for our second annual swede fest, boasting the ever-so-original name of SWEDE FEST™ 2 PALM BEACH. You can submit your entries until 11:59 PM on Tuesday, July 9, 2013. How? The bestest best way is via one of the many file-sharing sites like www.wetransfer.com or www.dropbox.com. Barring that, you can send us your 3-minutes-or-less epic on a DVD.
(Cue the sound of screeching brakes)
But wait, you cry! What are the rules? The fees? Who’s in charge? Where?
All of the answers are here, young Jedi. That’s the reason this website exists…
We’ll start at the beginning.
First, there was a little gem of a movie called Be Kind, Rewind. It starred Jack Black and Mos Def. The movie was kinda ho-hum, but it contained the seeds that would grow into a cult phenomenon. Yes, this film is responsible for the existence of the swede (n. laughably bad remake of a Hollywood film), and is therefore like a grandparent to the swede fest™. For a linear timeline, check out the “what’s a swede, man?‘ page.
Lest you think swede fest™ 2 palm beach is nothing more than an amateur free-for-all, we have RULES and SUBMISSION GUIDELINES. First, email us ASAP to reserve your film, because we only want one of everything. Once you reserve your movie, start roping in whoever you can to help with this little labor of love, because you’ll need a cast and a location — even if that turns out to be you, your BF, and your dog in the backyard. A little planning never hurt.
Keep your swede at under 3 minutes, and embrace the amateur nature of sweding. The bigger the original film’s budget and the less you spend on your swede are comedy gold, even if your source material is high drama. Your swede must be he equivalent of PG-13, even if you’re sweding Pulp Fiction. Find creative ways to work around any cussing, nekkidness, or other “grown up” stuff in the original movie, since swede fest™ 2 palm beach is open to all ages.
It’s free to enter a film in swede fest™ 2 palm beach. Tickets to the actual event on Saturday, July 27, 2013, at 7:00 PM are $5 in advance online, and $6 at the door. If you enter a film, you receive two free tickets. Although it’s not a competition per se, the audience that night will vote for their favorite swede and we will award a prize.
We’ll keep you updated here, via Twitter and Facebook as movies are reserved and the entries start rolling in. swede fest™ 2 palm beach will take place again this year at The Borland Center for Performing Arts on Mainstreet at Midtown…
So, swede fest™ 2 palm beach is officially set for Saturday, July 27, 2013, at last year’s venue The Borland Center for Performing Arts. And the entry deadline is 11:59 p.m. on Tuesday, July 9, 2013. That gives you FOUR MONTHS to get it together, let us know what film you are sweding, call in favors to cast your masterpiece, shoot it, edit it, and submit it. Overachiever? Let us know now, and there’s virtually no chance someone else will already have your movie reserved.
swede fest™ 2 palm beach is brought to you once again by Midtown. Follow the fest on Twitter (#swedefestpb) or “like” us on Facebook…
Ramal, Greg & Lamar Pitts, sweders of "Million Dollar Baby (Hit the Bag)"
Not to brag or anything, but the inaugural SWEDE FEST™PALM BEACH was an out-of-the-box smash success. Playing to a sold-out crowd of 500 last Friday night, SWEDE FEST™PALM BEACH 2012, produced by Mainstreet at Midtown at The Borland Center for Performing Arts, was high-energy entertainment for everyone involved, with “swedes” submitted by amateur filmmakers ages 10 to 60. This was a grassroots amateur film festival, in which short, DIY versions of big-budget feature films are reproduced as cheaply as possible, using family and friends as cast; bedrooms, backyards, and local parks as sets; and toys, pets, and found objects as props.
Chris Mash, director Nicole Rankin, and Kelsie Rybalk, who brought us "Hunger Games"
Filmmakers submitted 38 swedes; 23 were screened during the festival and 12 were shown in the lobby of the theatre during the hour-long festivities before SWEDE FEST™PALM BEACH 2012 got underway. Once attendees walked the red carpet and collected their tickets or VIP special-edition commemorative lanyards (both were sold online on this website as well as at the door), they could have their picture taken in front of the SWEDE FEST™PALM BEACH 2012 step-and-repeat — just like any red carpet movie event! — by AJ Shore Photography. Arts Radio Network was on hand to conduct radio interviews for their podcast, and New Vision Productions was roving the crowd interviewing film directors and attendees for a short film on SWEDE FEST™.
Kevin Sinicki, Jason Pennington, Virginia Sinicki, and Magnolia Lang, who sweded "Old School"
Potions in Motion sold beer and wine to a long line of thirsty — and patient — film fans, Hollywood Cupcakes handed out tiny explosions of joy in the form of movie-themed cupcakes (think Men in Blackberry — yum!), while DJ Joel Malkin played the soundtracks to some of our favorite films, and the students from Atlantic Arts Academy performed impromptu set pieces. The night’s biggest sponsor, The Digital Domain Institute, set up a booth in the lobby to distribute literature about its educational programs — but Digital Domain’s biggest impact, by far, was felt when everyone took a seat and the lights went down.
But before that happened, the evening’s emcees took to the stage. The Jove Comedy Experience — Frank and Jesse to their nearest and dearest — proved to be just as entertaining as the films they introduced. They stepped in when our original emcee, the Palm Beach Post’s Leslie Gray Streeter, was unable to attend, and quickly won the audience over with their rapid-fire wit, deadpan delivery and relentless heckling of anyone who dared come in late, get up to use the facilities, wear a hat, shave their head, or breathe regularly.
Our emcees, The Jove Comedy Experience...
The Digital Domain Special Events Team supported the festival by editing the master tape, creating a lead-in short film of its own about SWEDE FEST™ PALM BEACH that was shot around the area, using our festival logo on a stick and some creative voiceover to poke a bit of fun at the question, “Where is The Borland?” and interstitial graphics that made the entire production look, well…Hollywood.
The Digital Domain Institute also provided the night’s Audience Favorite Award, won by brothers Noah and Jonah Kalter (aged 10 and 11) from Stuart, for their swede of THE HULK. They were ecstatic to win a tour of the Digital Domain Tradition Studios in Port St. Lucie.
The rest of our swede-makers were a range of students from local middle and high schools (The Pine School, The Benjamin School, South Tech Academy, St. Lucie West High School, Palm Beach Gardens Community High School), film school students (G-Star), film enthusiasts, and semi-professional filmmakers.
The Kalter brothers, winners of the Audience Favorite Award for their swede of "The Hulk"
Our inaugural SWEDE FEST™ PALM BEACH was such a blockbuster we’ve already scheduled next year’s event, so mark your calendars NOW for Friday, August 2, 2013. Don’t plan that far ahead? No worries — we’ll remind you. Frequently.
Every film submitted was given credit in the night’s printed program, and in addition to the Audience Favorite Award, we gave out a few other “special” awards:
Best Misuse of Gym Equipment: I Am (A) Legend
Most Likely to Eat Pop Rocks: Jaws
Most Unsettling: 2012
Most Likely to Lose a Contact: Avatar
Best Yoda Impression: Men in Black
Most Empty Beer Bottles: The Birds
Tallying the votes for the Audience Favorite Award
Most Repetitive Dialogue: Million Dollar Baby (Hit the Bag)
Best Death Scene: Hunger Games
Most Likely to go to the Mall: Sleepover
Best Father-Son Relationship: Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Most Orphans in a Garage: Annie
Most Politically Incorrect Use of Makeup: Terminator
Best Use of Blue Paper: Avatar
Best Use of Legos: The Hulk
Best Hairpiece: Footloose
Most Likely to Wear Sensible Cowboy Boots:City Slickers
Best Transition to a Completely Different Movie: Chronicle
Most Dramatic Fast Food Order: No Country For Old Men
Fewest Trains Harmed in the Making of a Film: Trainspotting
Event organizer Belle Forino and Sherri Gedraitis, both of whom work for Midtown.
Best Mustache: Old School
Best Use of Bubbles: Avatar
Most Likely to be Tom Cruise: Mission Impossible
Most Likely to be a Bunch of Hooligans – District 9
We called it a wrap after that, and headed over to Midtown’s Cantina Laredo for the VIP After Party. Thanks to everyone who submitted a swede, came to SWEDE FEST™PALM BEACH 2012, the media who wrote about and supported the event, everyone who followed us on Facebook and Twitter, joined the Fan Club through this website, and all of the great people who got involved in some way to make our little indie film festival such a great success:
The SRO crowd at The Borland Center for Performing Arts theatre for swede fest palm beach 2012
Aaron Shore Photography Alchemy Communications Group Arts Radio Network Atlantic Arts Academy Cantina Laredo Chuck Burger Joint
Digital Domain Institute Digital Domain Special Projects Team DJ Joel Malkin Elizabeth Dashiell PR Entertainment Consultants Florida Weekly Hollywood Cupcake Kinane Printing LivingFLA Mainstreet at Midtown New Times New Vision Productions Palm Beach International Film Festival Palm Beach Post Potions in Motion Ram Realty Services Sun Sentinel The Borland Center for Performing Arts The Jove Comedy Experience Wild 95.5
Tomorrow is the REALLY BEEG SHEW (you have to say this in your best Ed Sullivan voice for it to work, you know).
Yes, it’s SWEDE FEST™ PALM BEACH! Polish the tiaras, fluff the feather boas, set your berets at a jaunty angle, and practice tying the cravats, kiddies.
We’ve got red carpet, a highly sweded step-and-repeat WITH photographer (nothing but the best for you!), our own film crew shooting a non-sweded mini-doc of the First Annual SWEDE FEST™ PALM BEACH, Arts Radio Network on site to do interviews, The Digital Domain Institute and New Times handing out swag, plenty of bevvies (of the G-rated and Adult-Only kind), a live DJ, — we even have official SWEDE FEST™ PALM BEACH cupcakes!!
Plus we have a killer set of emcees (The Jove Comedy Experience), nice comfy chairs to screen some of the funniest swedes ever, and a VIP after-party at Cantina Laredo with drink specials for ticket holders. We’re just piling on the fun, peeps. Get there at 6:00PM sharp or you’ll miss out on the festive parts.
This extravaganza is brought to you by Mainstreet at Midtown, which is pretty cool when you think about it.