‘You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. If you will not swede, then you will not meet your destiny.’

‘You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. If you will not swede, then you will not meet your destiny.’

Heh. Nice twist on some Darth Vader dialogue, no? For those of you who are not raging Star Wars geeks, that line was from The Empire Strikes Back.

Speaking of back (how’s that for a clunky transition?), the #1 film festival that refuses to take itself seriously returns to Mainstreet at Midtown during swede fest™palm beach 3, at the Borland Center for Performing Arts. The all-ages cult film festival has been a sold-out, blockbuster hit for the past two years, and it is promising to sell out even sooner for this year’s “three-quel.”

Desperado-1995

Yummy Antonio Banderas goodness...which you NOT see in the Desperado swede.

Emcees for the evening will be the Palm Beach Shakespeare Festival’s comedic performers Wally Lurz, Darryl Willis, Trent Stephens, and Zach Meyers, who are crafting their own “fun with film” for the entertainment of the audience on Saturday, August 2 (doors open at 6:00 pm, showtime beginning at 7:00 pm).

But what is a “swede?” Based on the movie Be Kind, Rewind, a swede is a no-budget, laughably bad remake of a Hollywood film. This kinda mediocre Jack Black/Mos Def comedy had an unintended side effect: it spawned an underground sweding craze and resulted in the first swede fest™ in Fresno, Calif. Next came swede fest™ tampa bay, then the first swede fest™ palm beach in 2012. Those interested in swedeing a film are encouraged to make extensive use of their imaginations, and “found items” as props. Visualize Star Wars made with whatever you can find in your garage…yes, that bad. Never fear though, films can only be 3 minutes long and must be rated PG — even Pulp Fiction, which is on the list already selected for this year’s Festival. Other movie titles already nabbed by would-be filmmakers are:

  • Casablanca
  • Castaway
  • Catching Fire
  • Dark Knight Rises
  • Desperado
  • Gravity
  • John Tucker Must Die
  • Jurassic Park
  • Mean Girls
  • Mementos
  • Noah
  • Parent Trap
  • Paul Blart: Mall Cop
  • Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure
  • Project X
  • Pulp Fiction
  • Raising Arizona
  • Robocop
  • Rocky 3
  • Specific Rim (a parody of Pacific Rim)
  • The Ring
  • The Wolf Of Wall Street
  • To Have & Have Not
  • Toy Story
  • Tremors
  • Twilight
  • Up
  • War of the Worlds
  • White Chicks

Only one swede per film title. Those with Oscar dreams should take a pass on this festival entirely; but those who want to take part in the coolest film festival in existence anywhere are encouraged to claim their film title now, or be stuck sweding something like August: Osage County, which would be sad since no one in the audience will likely appreciate your efforts, not having seen the original.

All film submissions are due by July 9. “Sweders” receive one free ticket per movie submitted — this ain’t Entourage where your posse gets in for free because you’re famous — and are encouraged to dress “Hollywood bizarre.” Wow, is that a wide-open door for, um, creative haberdashery.

Tickets are going to be $8, or you can pop for a $20 VIP ticket with Limited-Edition Lanyard and V.I.P. Seating. We’ll let you know as soon as tickets go on sale right here, on Facebook and Twitter.

Want to make like Coke and pop for product placement (i.e. sponsorship)? Call Mainstreet at Midtown’s Marketing Manager, Belle Forino at 561.282.4623 or email bforino@ramrealestate.com.

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