So, tickets to swede fest™palm beach 3 have been on sale for a week. And the VIP tickets? Almost sold out.
Jaws: The REAL Ending
Seriously. If this keeps up, The Borland Center will be, like 90% VIP seats, and 10% general admission (okay, a slight exaggeration, but this IS kinda Hollywood-ish, so we’re prone). We’re going to have to cut you celebrity wannabes off at some point, but we’ll give you fair warning. Tickets are selling like the latest iPhone and you’ll be sorry you aren’t buying online because the line will be LIKE THAT to buy them at the door.
Onto other stuff. The submissions are rolling in, which is only a pun if you’re old enough to remember film used to come on reels. Here’s a still from Jaws: The REAL Ending that uses one of our favorite effects of all time, stop-motion animation (see: Gumby and/or Robot Chicken for excellent reference).
We still want your shorts, and there’s time to call dibs and walk ‘em on over (metaphorically speaking, because everyone uses WeTransfer.com), since the deadline for submission is 11:59 PM on Wednesday, July 9th.
It would be irresponsible not to mention the event details:
swede fest™palm beach 3
Saturday, August 2, 2014
The Borland Center for Performing Arts
on Mainstreet at Midtown
4801 PGA Boulevard
Doors open at 6:00 PM
Festival starts at 7:00 PM
General Admissions tickets are $8 in advance
VIP tickets are $11 in advance and include spiffy limited-edition laminate and lanyard, plus reserved seating in the front rows and early entrance to your comfy seat
We’ve sold out every year, and tickets will be more money and cash-only at the door — thereby encouraging you to do the online advance thingy.
Need more info? Want to be a sponsor? Email firstname.lastname@example.org or call Mainstreet at Midtown’s Marketing Goddess, Belle Forino, at 561.282.4623
The 45 films submitted to date promise to make this year’s event the greatest festival of all time in Palm Beach County!*
* (out of all other Palm Beach County festivals celebrating bad movies by good people)
Festival planners at Mainstreet at Midtown promise that this year’s swede fest™ palm beach 3 will be the biggest, baddest, and worst (in the best way) film festival in its long, nearly two-year history. Based upon the films submitted so far, they are proving themselvescorrect, with 45 three-minute spoofs of Hollywood hits reserved so far for the cult-favorite evening scheduled for Saturday, August 2, 2014 at the Borland Center for Performing Arts.
The all-ages film festival has been a sold-out, blockbuster hit each year, and Mainstreet at Midtown is promising to be sold out even more for this year’s “three-quel.” That in mind, tickets will go on sale June 11 on this very website, with advance purchase tickets for $8 and VIP seats for $11. VIP tickets include a nifty lanyard, along with reserved seating in the theater’s front rows. Doors open at 6:00 p.m. with food and drink available for purchase and music provided by Double-Shot Entertainment. Showtime starts at 7:00 p.m. and audiences vote for their favorite “bad” movie. The winner of swede fest™ palm beach 3 will receive a year’s subscription to Adobe Premiere Pro CC film editing software (a $250 value). Following the awards, everyone is invited to Cantina Laredo for the swede fest after party.
Emcees for the evening will be the Palm Beach Shakespeare Festival’s comedic performers Wally Lurz, Darryl Willis, Krys Parker, Trent Stephens, and Zach Myers, who are crafting their own “fun with film” for the entertainment of the audience.
But what is a “swede?” the uninitiated ask. Based on the movie Be Kind, Rewind, a “swede” is a no-budget, laughably bad remake of a Hollywood film which spawned an underground sweding craze and resulted in the first swede fest™ in Fresno, Calif. Next came swede fest™ Tampa Bay, then swede fest™ palm beach in 2012. Those interested in swedeing a film are encouraged to use “found items” as props and their own imaginations.
All sweded films must be PG-13, even if the source material is not (like The Wolf of Wall Street, one film already reserved this year). Other films in this year’s Festival are: Spiderman, The Goonies, Aquamarine, Argo, Casablanca, Castaway, Catching Fire, Chariots of Fire, Dark Knight Rises, Desperado, Robocop, Fast 5, Frozen, Gravity, Jaws The REAL Ending, John Tucker Must Die, Jumper, Jurassic Park, Mean Girls, Mementos, Next Friday, Noah, Parent Trap, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Pee-wee’s Big Adventure, Project X, Pulp Fiction, Raising Arizona, Rocky 3, Soul Plane, Specific Rim (a parody of Pacific Rim), The Avengers, The Big Lebowski, The Matrix, The Princess Bride, The Ring Sweded, The Wizard of OZ, To Have & Have Not, Toy Story, Tremors, Twilight, Up, War of the Worlds, White Chicks, and X-Men.
Those who want to take part in the coolest film festival in existence are encouraged to claim their film title now. All films are due by 11:59PM on July 9. “Sweders” receive one free ticket per movie submitted and are encouraged to dress “Hollywood bizarre” when attending the event. Because why not, right?
Swede fest™ palm beach 3, sponsored by Emergency Care Services at JFK Medical Center, rolls out the red carpet on Saturday, August 2, 2014 at the Borland Center of Performing Arts at Midtown in Palm Beach Gardens at 7:00 p.m. Tickets are $8 in advance, $9 at the door, and $11 VIP with Limited Edition Lanyard and VIP seating. Sponsorships and volunteer positions are now available for this must-see event. For advance tickets, sponsorship opportunities, rules and regulations on submitting a film, or more information about the festival, take a look around on this website — it’s all here!
For general information, or to get in on the groovy sponsorship opportunities, call Mainstreet at Midtown’s Marketing Manager, Belle Forino 561.282.4623 or email email@example.com
Anticipation is building for our quirky little event, and tickets are selling. Remember that The Borland’s capacity is only 500 — and we sold out last year. The time is now to drop your Lincolns and grab your tix; they’ll be $6 cash at the door. And who carries that stuff anymore, we ask?
Stuff to look forward to on Saturday, July 27, 2013…
Emcee Will Watkins tribute to Mystery Science Theater 3000, cleverly titled Mystery Swede Theater 3000.
How Will characterizes himself on Facebook: I smell like cigarettes but do not smoke. I smell like beer but do not drink. I smell like success but am not famous. I am a stand-up comedian.
Booze-based drinkies from Potions in Motion. Yes, they will also serve non-alcoholic beverages.
We’re busting out the step-and-repeat so that you can stand in front of it and look like a true Hollywood type in the event pics.
DJ Victor Russo, in case you plan to totally bust a move on the red carpet.
New Vision Productions will have a film crew out again this year. So, if they didn’t capture you yelling “swede fest palm beach” into the camera last year…well, there’s hope.
Oceana Coffee will be open in The Borland Center’s lobby for your caffeinated pleasure. Plus, they serve food.
Comparing your glitter-bombed sartorial choices with those of your peers.
This year’s Audience Favorite Award (our equivalent of Best Picture for the Oscar-obsessed), which is NOT a tour of Digital Domain. Sorry again, Jonah and Noah. With that in mind, this year’s winner gets cool editing software.
At least 90 minutes of swede-based laughs and cushy seats.
One week and 11 hours from now (give or take a minute), we hit the entry deadline for SWEDE FEST™ 2 PALM BEACH. That’s it. Finis. No mas. Done.
If you haven’t already called dibs on your swede, there’s still PLENTY of time to pick your film, beg friends and relatives to help out, produce less than 3 minutes of usable footage, and skate in under the deadline. Officially, said deadline is 11:59 PM on Tuesday, July 9, 2013.
SWEDE FEST™ 2 PALM BEACH takes place at 7:00 PM on Saturday, July 27, 2013 at the Borland Center for Performing Arts on Mainstreet at Midtown in Palm Beach Gardens. Come around 6:00 PM when the doors open and the party gets started, and you stand a very good chance of being a featured player in our swede of SWEDE FEST™ 2 PALM BEACH. Yes, that same crew will be with us again this year, sticking a mic in your face and asking you to yell, “swede fest palm beach!”
In case you weren’t there (or were a wee bit overindulgent with the bevvies), here’s a reminder…
We’ll focus a bit more on how much cool stuff slated to happen before and after our little shindig in the next post. But here’s the most updated list of movies YOU CAN’T SWEDE:
It’s THAT time again! The Call for Entries is officially open for our second annual swede fest, boasting the ever-so-original name of SWEDE FEST™ 2 PALM BEACH. You can submit your entries until 11:59 PM on Tuesday, July 9, 2013. How? The bestest best way is via one of the many file-sharing sites like www.wetransfer.com or www.dropbox.com. Barring that, you can send us your 3-minutes-or-less epic on a DVD.
(Cue the sound of screeching brakes)
But wait, you cry! What are the rules? The fees? Who’s in charge? Where?
All of the answers are here, young Jedi. That’s the reason this website exists…
We’ll start at the beginning.
First, there was a little gem of a movie called Be Kind, Rewind. It starred Jack Black and Mos Def. The movie was kinda ho-hum, but it contained the seeds that would grow into a cult phenomenon. Yes, this film is responsible for the existence of the swede (n. laughably bad remake of a Hollywood film), and is therefore like a grandparent to the swede fest™. For a linear timeline, check out the “what’s a swede, man?‘ page.
Lest you think swede fest™ 2 palm beach is nothing more than an amateur free-for-all, we have RULES and SUBMISSION GUIDELINES. First, email us ASAP to reserve your film, because we only want one of everything. Once you reserve your movie, start roping in whoever you can to help with this little labor of love, because you’ll need a cast and a location — even if that turns out to be you, your BF, and your dog in the backyard. A little planning never hurt.
Keep your swede at under 3 minutes, and embrace the amateur nature of sweding. The bigger the original film’s budget and the less you spend on your swede are comedy gold, even if your source material is high drama. Your swede must be he equivalent of PG-13, even if you’re sweding Pulp Fiction. Find creative ways to work around any cussing, nekkidness, or other “grown up” stuff in the original movie, since swede fest™ 2 palm beach is open to all ages.
It’s free to enter a film in swede fest™ 2 palm beach. Tickets to the actual event on Saturday, July 27, 2013, at 7:00 PM are $5 in advance online, and $6 at the door. If you enter a film, you receive two free tickets. Although it’s not a competition per se, the audience that night will vote for their favorite swede and we will award a prize.
We’ll keep you updated here, via Twitter and Facebook as movies are reserved and the entries start rolling in. swede fest™ 2 palm beach will take place again this year at The Borland Center for Performing Arts on Mainstreet at Midtown…
Ramal, Greg & Lamar Pitts, sweders of "Million Dollar Baby (Hit the Bag)"
Not to brag or anything, but the inaugural SWEDE FEST™PALM BEACH was an out-of-the-box smash success. Playing to a sold-out crowd of 500 last Friday night, SWEDE FEST™PALM BEACH 2012, produced by Mainstreet at Midtown at The Borland Center for Performing Arts, was high-energy entertainment for everyone involved, with “swedes” submitted by amateur filmmakers ages 10 to 60. This was a grassroots amateur film festival, in which short, DIY versions of big-budget feature films are reproduced as cheaply as possible, using family and friends as cast; bedrooms, backyards, and local parks as sets; and toys, pets, and found objects as props.
Chris Mash, director Nicole Rankin, and Kelsie Rybalk, who brought us "Hunger Games"
Filmmakers submitted 38 swedes; 23 were screened during the festival and 12 were shown in the lobby of the theatre during the hour-long festivities before SWEDE FEST™PALM BEACH 2012 got underway. Once attendees walked the red carpet and collected their tickets or VIP special-edition commemorative lanyards (both were sold online on this website as well as at the door), they could have their picture taken in front of the SWEDE FEST™PALM BEACH 2012 step-and-repeat — just like any red carpet movie event! — by AJ Shore Photography. Arts Radio Network was on hand to conduct radio interviews for their podcast, and New Vision Productions was roving the crowd interviewing film directors and attendees for a short film on SWEDE FEST™.
Kevin Sinicki, Jason Pennington, Virginia Sinicki, and Magnolia Lang, who sweded "Old School"
Potions in Motion sold beer and wine to a long line of thirsty — and patient — film fans, Hollywood Cupcakes handed out tiny explosions of joy in the form of movie-themed cupcakes (think Men in Blackberry — yum!), while DJ Joel Malkin played the soundtracks to some of our favorite films, and the students from Atlantic Arts Academy performed impromptu set pieces. The night’s biggest sponsor, The Digital Domain Institute, set up a booth in the lobby to distribute literature about its educational programs — but Digital Domain’s biggest impact, by far, was felt when everyone took a seat and the lights went down.
But before that happened, the evening’s emcees took to the stage. The Jove Comedy Experience — Frank and Jesse to their nearest and dearest — proved to be just as entertaining as the films they introduced. They stepped in when our original emcee, the Palm Beach Post’s Leslie Gray Streeter, was unable to attend, and quickly won the audience over with their rapid-fire wit, deadpan delivery and relentless heckling of anyone who dared come in late, get up to use the facilities, wear a hat, shave their head, or breathe regularly.
Our emcees, The Jove Comedy Experience...
The Digital Domain Special Events Team supported the festival by editing the master tape, creating a lead-in short film of its own about SWEDE FEST™ PALM BEACH that was shot around the area, using our festival logo on a stick and some creative voiceover to poke a bit of fun at the question, “Where is The Borland?” and interstitial graphics that made the entire production look, well…Hollywood.
The Digital Domain Institute also provided the night’s Audience Favorite Award, won by brothers Noah and Jonah Kalter (aged 10 and 11) from Stuart, for their swede of THE HULK. They were ecstatic to win a tour of the Digital Domain Tradition Studios in Port St. Lucie.
The rest of our swede-makers were a range of students from local middle and high schools (The Pine School, The Benjamin School, South Tech Academy, St. Lucie West High School, Palm Beach Gardens Community High School), film school students (G-Star), film enthusiasts, and semi-professional filmmakers.
The Kalter brothers, winners of the Audience Favorite Award for their swede of "The Hulk"
Our inaugural SWEDE FEST™ PALM BEACH was such a blockbuster we’ve already scheduled next year’s event, so mark your calendars NOW for Friday, August 2, 2013. Don’t plan that far ahead? No worries — we’ll remind you. Frequently.
Every film submitted was given credit in the night’s printed program, and in addition to the Audience Favorite Award, we gave out a few other “special” awards:
Best Misuse of Gym Equipment: I Am (A) Legend
Most Likely to Eat Pop Rocks: Jaws
Most Unsettling: 2012
Most Likely to Lose a Contact: Avatar
Best Yoda Impression: Men in Black
Most Empty Beer Bottles: The Birds
Tallying the votes for the Audience Favorite Award
Most Repetitive Dialogue: Million Dollar Baby (Hit the Bag)
Best Death Scene: Hunger Games
Most Likely to go to the Mall: Sleepover
Best Father-Son Relationship: Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Most Orphans in a Garage: Annie
Most Politically Incorrect Use of Makeup: Terminator
Best Use of Blue Paper: Avatar
Best Use of Legos: The Hulk
Best Hairpiece: Footloose
Most Likely to Wear Sensible Cowboy Boots:City Slickers
Best Transition to a Completely Different Movie: Chronicle
Most Dramatic Fast Food Order: No Country For Old Men
Fewest Trains Harmed in the Making of a Film: Trainspotting
Event organizer Belle Forino and Sherri Gedraitis, both of whom work for Midtown.
Best Mustache: Old School
Best Use of Bubbles: Avatar
Most Likely to be Tom Cruise: Mission Impossible
Most Likely to be a Bunch of Hooligans – District 9
We called it a wrap after that, and headed over to Midtown’s Cantina Laredo for the VIP After Party. Thanks to everyone who submitted a swede, came to SWEDE FEST™PALM BEACH 2012, the media who wrote about and supported the event, everyone who followed us on Facebook and Twitter, joined the Fan Club through this website, and all of the great people who got involved in some way to make our little indie film festival such a great success:
The SRO crowd at The Borland Center for Performing Arts theatre for swede fest palm beach 2012
Aaron Shore Photography Alchemy Communications Group Arts Radio Network Atlantic Arts Academy Cantina Laredo Chuck Burger Joint
Digital Domain Institute Digital Domain Special Projects Team DJ Joel Malkin Elizabeth Dashiell PR Entertainment Consultants Florida Weekly Hollywood Cupcake Kinane Printing LivingFLA Mainstreet at Midtown New Times New Vision Productions Palm Beach International Film Festival Palm Beach Post Potions in Motion Ram Realty Services Sun Sentinel The Borland Center for Performing Arts The Jove Comedy Experience Wild 95.5